Time and Money

Today(A 2 for 1 special since the two concepts go together) I want to share a concept about Spending. Of course we spend money, but we also "spend" time. We are all given the same amount of time. It is deposited faithfully into your life account every day. Time is not something we can "make" or can we? I have heard that expression many a time. I just need to MAKE TIME for that. What it actually means is to prioritize and avoid piddly or less productive things to make time for essential things. Is Praying or Reading Scriptures important to you? Does it sometimes come down to the end of the day and you are scrambling to read a couple of verses and say something quick before you fall asleep? How about exercise or eating healthy? How often are we doing other less important things, maybe even stay up late and are TOO TIRED to go exercise or ran out of time and just grabbed some FAST food? How long did we spend watching a TV show or a movie or a sporting event? How long did we spend playing a game on our electronic device? How long did we spend on Pinterest or Youtube looking at random things? Am I saying any of things are bad or that you are bad if you do them? NO. Simply put, it's moderation in all things. Some time Playing, Some time Relaxing, Some time Caring for ourselves(IMPORTANT IN BEING ABLE TO BEST CARE FOR OTHERS), Some time Working and probably alternating between them all because let's face it, an adult's Work is Never really Done. I fell in that trap more than once frown emoticon We can simply become aware if we have time in the day to do what is most important to us or are we "running out" of time to do those things that "matter" most?
Another concept that I am trying to grasp more is that in order to MAKE MORE TIME, I can pay other people to do things that I have to spend my time doing, like yard work or cooking or cleaning or fixing your car or doing home improvement projects. I have recently started having experience with projects and while yes I might be able to figure out how to do some of these things, other people know how to do it better and more quickly because they have knowledge, tools, and skills. When we go to work we trade our constantly renewed account of Time for Money. Someone else paid you for your skills, while you use it to pay others for their skills. It is a constant cycle of giving and receiving. What happens when we want to save our money, we still end up spending time. If you are really experienced and know how to do something efficiently You just may be the best bet. However if you spend tons of time that someone else could have done more quickly, might it have been better to pay someone in value of their skill? I think that many of us have skills that we do not think is worth trading for money. For someone else who does not have that skill it is way worth their time to pay you for it and well worth it for others to pay you for yours. Maybe check out your abilities. One of them might just pay you more spending less of your time than it does doing what you do currently spending more time. (There is an energy and happiness factor too though) If doing what you do PAYS you tons of satisfaction, accomplishment energy, and joy, that is probably the talent that you should be sharing with the world. Thank you for the gift that you are to the world.

Giving AND Receiving

In my life I learned to become very independent. In a way that is really good, but in other ways maybe not so much. I am a really great Giver. I love to share and do for others, but when it comes to Receiving, I'm currently not the greatest at it. While I really enjoy serving, I think I am in need of learning how to Receive. It is a two way street. In order for me to serve and give, there HAS TO be a receiver. I suppose I have never really thought about there being one of each in Every exchange. Think about when someone gives you the gift of a compliment. Did they hope and intend that you would receive it in your heart? In the past I would often deflect it, not feeling like I deserved it somehow. How sad for the giver of the compliment gift. What other things am I not actually allowing to be received: Answers to Questions in Inspiration, Forgiveness, Love and Admiration, A Helping Hand?? I'm going to practice opening my Receiving Department of Good Things. If you relate, maybe try asking someone for one thing a day. Please pass the salt, please get me a drink of water, please turn off the light. wink emoticon Some of us were great at asking for things as kids and how often are we ready to jump in to assist someone else if they asked for the very same requests we were? If we continue not receiving, it may lead to resentment and possibly even wondering why you don't love being a mom or dad cry emoticon Ask and Allow yourself to receive...

Perfect Potential

I am grateful to be imperfect. I was just reminded that it was the weak that were called to do great things. I believe that it was specifically an example of the power of God to perform miracles, simply through a willing heart, with no chance of it being the person's own merit. The scriptures are also filled with examples of people who changed. People who once did, thought, and said horrible things could change and be forgiven for what they had done. Their hearts could become new and be new. Every moment we can choose something new, something better, something different. We are not stuck forever in any certain way of being. We make mistakes, all the time, and it is often through them that we learn the very most. Embrace the opportunity to learn, grow, and live up to your Divine potential. You are more Valuable, Majestic, and Powerful than you could ever imagine! Go and BE who you have always wished you could be. It is all in your choice. You have Perfect Potential!

Choice Abundance

I am so thankful for and am understanding just how precious the Gift of Agency is. All around us we are allowed the opportunity to choose. As a baby, so many things were chosen for us but as we grow older, we are given the chance to choose more and more things. Even in the womb we could choose to kick our leg or suck our thumb or roll around. As a parent I have become very aware of this and often have to remind myself that it is not my job to choose everything for my children. While there are some things that I would choose very differently on, a lot of the things that I would worry about, just don't matter: whether they comb their hair or their clothes match. My son wore two different kinds of shoes to school while one of his was lost under the bed. At first I was like, What? Why don't you just wear the matching pair, but he liked the other kind better :Ptongue emoticon OK then. Issue to worry about? No. His choice? Yes! 
People all around us are demonstrating things that we want to emulate or reject. There is not a moment that goes by that we are not choosing something. We are even choosing our thoughts, unceasingly. We choose what to DO with our time, what to Watch, Listen to, Eat, Wear, Move or Sit still, Take action or simply Think about it. This Agency thing is a big deal! What about the people who are forced to do certain things, like in other countries? Do they get to choose? They get to choose their Attitude and the way they look at or think about things. Maybe like a person in jail. Their freedom of action most likely got them there, but what they Choose to do with the situation is the key. More choices. I now appreciate more, my abundance of choices...

Mid Life Evaluation (11/25/15)

(So clear back in August last year I said I was going to post my Facebook Posts on my Blog and while I had the very best of intentions, I was feeling super accomplished to just post it on Facebook even. I decided to go back, copy, and paste some past insights for those not on Facebook. Here we go.......)
Wow, my day went by so fast. I learned so much today. I have been observing myself in a process. Let's see...just a quick setup. I just turned 40 this year and have lived in my home for over 10 years. Something about this and where I am in my life has sure has stirred up a lot of feelings and emotion about where I am at. I have thankfully done a lot of magnificent transforming in the last few years especially. All of these things coming together has come to the forefront in a BIG way. When your insides change, your outside world wants to reflect it. When I felt down, things at my home would go into disarray, to reflect that . As I have cleaned up some important things on my insides, my home has become so much easier to clean and keep up. I am not being weighed down by so much junk inside that scrambles my brain. My dilemma is that my outside world is still in someone elses old condition. The same floors, the same kitchen, the same wallpaper as when we moved in, even the same holes in the wall from the previous owners!!....it feels very uneasy to me now. I think that I have not been caring about myself the way that I should. So much that I have considered moving to change this feeling. In the process, I have been doing so many things that I wish I would have done when we first moved in!! The scripture that keeps running through my head is to "Love thy neighbor as thyself" but how does that work if I am not loving myself?? I feel uneasy in an increasingly yucky way. I think that it is time for a change. One that will reflect what my insides are telling me. The grateful part is, I can SEE on the outside that I am changing, for the better. My sincere hope and prayer is that you can SEE that in your life too...

Why wait...

So for some reason I have been prompted and prompted and prompted to write on my blog, but why have I not done it???
I love people! I love sharing amazing things! I love perspective changing goodness that once you hear, read, and know it, you can never be the same again...
So what is my deal????? I ask myself...
Well I think that it has to do with stinky thoughts in my head that have kept winning, saying:
-No one wants to read what you write
-What do you know
-No one cares about that
-You are not special
-It is too long
-It is too short
-You are wasting their time
-Somebody else has already posted or written about that
-They write better than you do

SERIOUSLY!!!! NO MORE!!! I CHOOSE TO SHARE!!!
 I don't know everyone in the world and neither does anyone else. Our lives are meant to touch the people that we can reach and if you are reading this then I have received the honor of connecting with you. Everyone has a choice as to what they want to read or spend time on. I read and learn from things constantly. It is one of my favorite things to do. What I learn, you may not have had the chance to yet. It may really matter and change someone forever!

What might it be like if I don't share it?
-People could suffer on with the same things much longer than necessary.
-I could just be sad that I have all kinds of valuable info that I am just dying to express
-People might give up on their situation
-People might think that they are alone in what they deal with or go through
-I will miss the opportunity to help someone. I sure appreciate those who have opened up and shared their lives for me to benefit from
-If I document what happened to me and taught me something at the time, it will vividly live on by being recorded/shared for others to benefit from

Since I feel like life is like a big school of learning, I am eager to share what life has taught me. We often learn the very most in tough ways, but if we learned something, we GAINED something more valuable than anything, KNOWLEDGE. When we graduate from life, we only get to take what we learned so I hope that I learn a heck of a lot and boy do I love to Share. Thanks for taking the time to let me share. If there is something that you have gone through that has improved your life and you are willing to share, I would LOOOOVE to hear about it. Post it in the comments :) :) :) (Update...so my Facebook Posts have been warming up to this. Some are so long they should be on my blog. I have noticed in myself that sometimes I don't take that extra step to click on other people's links though to read someone else's :( I will also post them on here since they will be archived to read at any time and not get lost. I also remembered that there are also those not on Facebook. Thank you for your patience. I am learning...)

In the Eye of the Beholder

So Big upheaval took place in our home the end of last month. This was not a completely new circumstance, but it showed up for us in a big way. A Big Sad way...

It was my husband's birthday and I had persuaded him to stay home from work. We had a wonderful morning together but then realized that the kids were getting out of school early that day. We quickly decided to go grab sandwiches at one of his favorite places, but only had time to chow down about half of them. We picked up the kids and then went to the pool for a while.

Recently my husband noticed that a new store opened up nearby and wanted to go check it out. Earlier that day I had promised to play a game with my oldest son after going swimming. I really wanted to go along to the store and spend more time with my husband, but rightfully chose to stay home. My oldest daughter volunteered to go to the store with him. I felt a bit nervous about that because my husband seemed a little bit “wrapped around her little finger” since she quite frequently seemed to get many things that she wanted or asked for. So I asked my hubby if he could "resist" her asking for things. He said yes and off they went.

I was home playing cards with my son and I got a text from my credit card company notifying me of a charge from Bath and Body Works, A STORE IN THE MALL! A store that carries the favorite soap of earlier mentioned daughter! The mall??? That was NOT the store they were going to. Then I get a text from Zupas! One of my very favorite places to go out to eat! Ok. From the exclamations you can probably tell that I was getting pretty upset. I am thinking, “Wait a minute. Why are they at the mall? He told me he could resist buying her things. Those soaps are more expensive than I usually spend on things like that, even for myself! ZUPAS??? That is my favorite and all I got was a hurried half of a sandwich earlier! What the heck?!?!” 

So as you can see, the story and chatter going through my head was NOT AT ALL positive. By this time I had even “forgotten” that it was HIS birthday and HIS special day. I even started hearing “You are dumb for even complaining. He already spent the entire morning and day with you. Can’t he spend time with and do things with your daughter? What's your problem? Are you Jealous?”  Because of this junk going through my head, I decided to try and fake that nothing was wrong. What I did not know is how badly it would actually hurt him that I was so cold and standoffish.

After they came home, I didn’t even talk to them about any of it. I just tried to fake like everything was fine and hold it in. I did not want to bother him with my “irrational” feelings. He could sense it and asked me if anything was the matter. I tried to disguise it by saying “No. Nothing is wrong.”  Unfortunately, he could not feel of my love or even that I cared about him at all because I was struggling to hold it ALL back in hopes that my anger/sadness would not “hurt” him. In actuality I ended up hurting him so badly that we pretty much did not even talk for the next four days!

He did not know what was going on besides the fact that he felt like NOTHING he ever did was right. He did not know how to make me happy because he often felt that I was very unhappy, at least with him. He felt that maybe someone else could do a better job than he could, cause it had been pretty much like this for our whole marriage. (sniff, sniff)

In our 4 days of silence, I had a lot of time to reflect and learn. I realized that even though I was not “saying” anything with my words and trying to act as if nothing was the matter, the messages were coming across loud and clear… “Why didn’t he do this? Why didn’t he do that? He doesn't care enough about me to pick up after himself. He hurt my feelings again.”  Basically: "You are a Failure." That seemed to be the underlying message that I was sending out to him. The biggest problem was that he had absolutely no idea WHY and I did not realize I was even doing it!

Because my beliefs about myself: “I wasn’t important enough to care about/Nobody really cared about my feelings anyway/My feelings, wishes, and wants are a burden,” ran so deeply, I was making that “story” come true! Due to my limiting beliefs I would often not even ask him to do things for me, in Fear that he wouldn’t do it and then I would feel let down. In this self-defeating behavior, I was not even giving him the chance to show that he cared and then spent my time feeling constantly disappointed because he didn’t do things for me. Seriously??? Just writing this down makes me go, “What?!?!” (The power of journaling right before your eyes!!)

NOW...DO YOU WANT TO KNOW THE REAL STORY? He and my daughter went to that store he saw and it was Closed.  HE wanted to go the mall since there were a lot of stores there and he should be able to find something he liked. My daughter even questioned it, but agreed. They stumbled upon a 70% off sale at Bath and Body Works, where he bought something for him, her, AND another daughter for on $13. They then decided they were hungry. She wanted to go to Café Rio and since his belly was upset, he only felt up to eating some soup. Hmmm…where has some good soup nearby? Zupas. So going there was his idea too!!!

What had I done??? He had NO ILL INTENT whatsoever. I was the one that had made up this terrible story that I was so hurt by, thinking “How could he? Why wouldn’t he know I would feel so bad? I can’t believe it!” Soooo... Was there a part I had to play in this? Although we had made up and I now knew the REAL story, for some reason I still felt insecure. I was still letting my mind run the old story/beliefs. As I expressed them again, his response shocked me. "Why do you keep telling me this story to explain why it is OK for you to treat me like this?" To my horror, I felt all the negative yucky emotions come rushing back. “Noooooooooooo….." I was NOT going to go through that again! Feeling that utter despair and powerlessness, I was not about to let that go in vain!

All of that stuff I had felt so worried about before suddenly felt like nothing, compared to the thought of not being with my husband and kids as a family. I also learned that I HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE HOW I THINK, FEEL, AND PERCEIVE any situation. Although I could not change the memory of what happened, I Could Change feeling hurt into Understanding. I Could Change my belief about what happened into The Real Story. I did change my belief that “people don’t care enough” to People Do Care and sometimes they just “know not what they do.” As for my husband, my New and Improved Story is that “He loves me and would NEVER do anything to Intentionally hurt me.” I repeat this main statement in my mind over and over again whenever the lies and anything contrary try to sneak in. I needed to reprogram in the Truth that had not been running in there for so long.

Ever since that night when I changed the way I BEHELD the situation, my husband and I have a better relationship than we have ever had the whole time we have known each other. The mistrust and thoughts of ill intentions were Within Me long before he even came into the picture and I am grateful for that dire situation that helped me to Finally figure it out so change could happen. I am continuously seeking to learn and improve in every moment. I Prefer to do it on my own accord, but if those big bad times come along, I am going to diligently work towards learning the lessons really quickly!!!!

Here is a section from a talk that my dear friend shared with me while I was going through this. It helped me in profound ways:

Your Father in Heaven and His Beloved Son love you perfectly. They would not require you to experience a moment more of difficulty than is absolutely needed for your personal benefit or for that of those you love. (Richard G. Scott, “Trust in the Lord” Ensign October 1995)

I hope that something spoke to you related to your own relationships or might help someone you know Behold things in a better way. 

Love and Happiness...Erika